Holiday Season

Normally I detest the 'Season of Spending' that the U.S. business culture crams in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I am declaring a new holiday that does, unfortunately, require us to go shopping.

I am declaring today NEW SOCK DAY. Once a year, on November 29, I vow to throw away every sock I own. I'll even go to the store in sandals in the snow to fulfill this duty. Toss 'em all. The four pairs that are left with mates, and the forty bazillion mateless socks that have been sitting around unworn for the past year waiting for their mates to be released from captivity by the laundry.

Give it all up. Let them go. Then go buy a twenty four pack of reliable socks and number each one of them with a little embroidery or silk screening.

Is this rash consumerism? No. rash consumerism would involve buying new socks and NOT THROWING THE OLD ONES OUT. That's the important bit. That's what makes today a day of cleansing and replenishing instead of a time of greed. Think of how your feet will feel during the crush of the holiday season: Fresh clean socks, soft to the touch and no thin and worn patches under the heel. If you suffer from athletes foot that doesn't seem to go away, you have a chance to attack it with fresh armour for your feet.

But what about those of you who have pairs of handmade socks that someone has lovingly knit for you? Keep those. They never lose their mates. It's part of the magic of hand knit socks. Some of the more clever knitters even make them so the toes and heels can be replaced.

Ok, maybe there is some consumerism involved here. To learn how to knit your own socks, go find a copy of the Twisted Sister's Sock Workbook. Am I promoting this fun little book because my wife and mother in law contributed to it? Maybe.

And if anyone in my apartment building can find sock 17R, please drop it off at apartment 9. Thanks