Bullying and Self Confidence
In terms of students reacting to endless bullying by planning a Columbine-style massacre, Leonard Pitts, Jr. wrote on December 6, 2004:
"Entitlement and self-absorption are the unavoidable byproduct of a culture that teaches shame is a four letter word, boudaries are obsolete and self-gratification is life's highest purpose."
I, too, was a victim of bullying and I knew several students who suffered the same fate. My reaction to this statement is 'Right On!' (Yes, I talk like that sometimes) but when I stop and think about it, I raise other questions.
Vicitms of bullys often feel shame. I did for a while: shame that as a boy I didn't stand up to some jerk, shame that my older brothers friends once threatened the bully who was harassing me. Americans don't understand that shame can be a positive thing, instead we do treat it like a four-letter word. Who Dares feel shame today? Got dirty laundry that embarrases you? Go on a talk show or reality TV. How this helps, I don't know, but it's the solution modern America has chosen.
But how do we help victims of bullying deal with that shame? Cracking down on the bullys in school means the adult staff becomes the larger bully with real power, and more students tune out with a bully on the staff than they do with a bully in the classroom. We need to find a way for the victims to stand stall despite the reasons that they are chosen by bullys.
There is a risk in that as well. The rather spineless "I'm OK, You're OK" campaign of the 70's did nothing for me. Clearly there was something giving me real evidence that I wasn't OK in all the shit I took. To be fair, I gave other students shit when I started growing bigger. I wasn't a full blown bully, I was just a bit of an ass and I didn't single anyone out more than once (twice, tops).
I guess, after thinking about it, I come up with this question: How do we implement a confidence boosting plan with real sustenance. How do we make students feel good about themselves despite the setbacks of childhood? There are classroom management techniques that can help with the bullying problem without turning the faculty into a bully. Are there ways of preventing students believing that they are victims?
"Entitlement and self-absorption are the unavoidable byproduct of a culture that teaches shame is a four letter word, boudaries are obsolete and self-gratification is life's highest purpose."
I, too, was a victim of bullying and I knew several students who suffered the same fate. My reaction to this statement is 'Right On!' (Yes, I talk like that sometimes) but when I stop and think about it, I raise other questions.
Vicitms of bullys often feel shame. I did for a while: shame that as a boy I didn't stand up to some jerk, shame that my older brothers friends once threatened the bully who was harassing me. Americans don't understand that shame can be a positive thing, instead we do treat it like a four-letter word. Who Dares feel shame today? Got dirty laundry that embarrases you? Go on a talk show or reality TV. How this helps, I don't know, but it's the solution modern America has chosen.
But how do we help victims of bullying deal with that shame? Cracking down on the bullys in school means the adult staff becomes the larger bully with real power, and more students tune out with a bully on the staff than they do with a bully in the classroom. We need to find a way for the victims to stand stall despite the reasons that they are chosen by bullys.
There is a risk in that as well. The rather spineless "I'm OK, You're OK" campaign of the 70's did nothing for me. Clearly there was something giving me real evidence that I wasn't OK in all the shit I took. To be fair, I gave other students shit when I started growing bigger. I wasn't a full blown bully, I was just a bit of an ass and I didn't single anyone out more than once (twice, tops).
I guess, after thinking about it, I come up with this question: How do we implement a confidence boosting plan with real sustenance. How do we make students feel good about themselves despite the setbacks of childhood? There are classroom management techniques that can help with the bullying problem without turning the faculty into a bully. Are there ways of preventing students believing that they are victims?
posted by Josh English @ 11:52 AM
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